Dear
Scumbag,
I
have two questions and they are both about vaginas in porn.
First,
what is up with all the pussy slapping? Sometimes I feel like I'm
watching "Cops, Vaginas Gone Bad". I have tried this on myself and it
did nothing for me. Nothing! But before you assume that I need 6
kittens to be pallbearers for this dead pussy of mine, allow me to
assure you that I am multi-orgasmic. And yet... confused.
Question #2: why are all the pussies in porn so dry looking? None of
them ever look moist, never mind wet. Do they wipe them down between
takes? Do the harsh camera lights dry them out? Is all porn
filmed in the Sahara?
Signed,
Puzzled about Porn
Dear
Puzzled,
Pussy
slapping? Hmmmmmmmmm............ Ya know I've seen my share
of porn and not once do I remember seeing anyone slapping Editor
Shawn around. I guess i'm not looking hard enough.
If by chance
you are
speaking of the vagina that is a sexual organ on a woman and not vagina
as in a small man from the Pacific Northwest,
then I'm with you. I really don't know what the deal is with
that.
Every time I tried this I ended up with a face full of pepper spray and
a new felony charge.
Now
as for dry looking vaginas.............
The
way I sees it, is that there is a definite lack of "fluff guys" in the
adult film industry. There are plenty of fluff girls in the
industry.
These suck machines have given many future Whie House interns
their big
break. Fluff guys on the other hand are mysteriously absent in
the
porn industry. Really, how hard could it be to find some random
vagrant in need of some cash to perform cunnilingus on a beaten up twat
(again, not talking about Editor Shawn) in order to make it look
moist
a plump for filming?
Of
course, I am only speaking of straight porn. I'm sure, as Editor
Shawn (the wanna be stand in for this section of The Meltdown) can tell
you, there are plenty of fluff guys in gay porn. Hell, he's
the union
president for the Homosexual Fluffer Northwest Chapter!
Editor
Shawn sucks!
Scumbag
LAST WEEKS ARTICLES
Q:
Is it true that weak erections can
ultimately lead to impotency?
A: No. But it
can make yer ol' lady fuck the trash guy every tuesday.
Q: Is it true that if I don't have sex for a
while, my penis will shrink irreversibly?
A: Holy
fuck, I dunno.. Is
it?
